Sorry last week was so short. I was in a weird mood and then my computer crashed right in the middle of my email and didn’t save anything. (maybe there was something blasphemous that I wasn't supposed to share haha). So needless to say, my email was short.
So last Monday night, like I mentioned, I was in a weird mood. Our FHE family cancelled so we didn't have a lot of back-up plans. We decided to visit a family who has not been very interested in our message. They have a lot of different religions in their home which created a little bit of tension and they just viewed our teachings as a nice little bible study. I was a little frustrated we were going to go to them again, because I haven’t felt like they get a lot out of our message. But when we got there, I was definitely humbled. They asked us why it had been so long since we last had visited (Our last lesson was a week before on the Book of Mormon PMG Lesson 1 Principals 7 & 8). The mother said that whenever we are in their home, they feel different, like the Lord is there with us. I was utterly shocked. They had read the introduction of the Book of Mormon and wanted to know more. What was especially shocking, was that one of the sisters, who is Baptist and previously glared down her sister for accepting the commitment to read, was the one who read the most in the Book of Mormon and asked the most questions in theMonday night visit.
I definitely know that as we teach true doctrine by the power of the spirit, the Lord and the Holy Ghost work together to teach the investigators. I know their conversion process did not start because of the words we used or our “convincing power.” But their conversion started because the Lord was working on the hearts and softening them towards our message. I was humbled because it reminded me that we need to take advantage of every teaching opportunity. Even if I feel like they are not listening to us or that they are not interested, if they are letting us teach them, we need to continue to teach with the power and conviction of God.
I am so grateful for the opportunity to be an instrument of God. Even if I don’t know what is going on a lot of the time, as long as I follow the spirit to know what to say, the people will hear and understand what they need. I just need to continue to qualify for that guidance by being diligent in my studies and obedience. Sorry that was so long and it probably seems so simple, but I guess I just need constant reminders of our power and calling as missionaries. When I start stressing out, it’s because I forgot who’s work I am doing. If I am prepared and diligent, I have peace and do not stress.
This week at church, we were greeting all of the members and at exactly 8:59, bishop came up so Sis. Manosig and I and told us he forgot to assign speakers so we would be speaking on missionary work for sacrament meeting. Also, the pianist didn’t show up so I would be playing all of the hymns. I had a quick panic attack for a half of a second and then smiled and said, “okaylang Bishop, Salamat!” I went to the piano and played the hymns, then during the sacrament looked up a scripture on missionary work, and since I was the first speaker I just walked right up to the pulpit and said a bunch of stuff in Ilonggo for 8 minutes. I’m not completely sure what I said, because without notes, it was kind of like a really long testimony with a scripture. You know when you go to bear your testimony and you don’t say what you were planning on? That is because the spirit knows what you need to say and is guiding you. I was definitely guided by the spirit. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a vessel for the Lord. I’ve never been forced to rely on the spirit as much as I have here in Bacolod, but I will never be able to replace these experiences. These daily experiences are humbling me, teaching me, and pushing me farther than I ever thought possible.
Haha, then during the closing hymn, the fans had kicked on, so the fans were blowing on my hymn book, so every couple seconds I had to reach up and hold down the pages. Basically, it was really rough, but at least I was able to serve as best as I could!
Through all my experiences here I feel a little bipolar from time to time as I switch what seems like hourly from stressed to peaceful to overjoyed to discouraged, and to complete excitement. But I know that I am learning so much and I becoming more and more prepared for the rest of my life. Thank you for the guidance and support you continually give me. Even now as an adult and a missionary, I appreciate your help through your letters and your love and I know I am so lucky to have a family who loves me as much as you do! You are the best family in the whole world!
Kabalo ako nga palangga kita tanan sang Dios kag paagi sa iya, mangin pinaka-malipay kita sangsa mga pamilia. Palangga ko kamo!
Sister Ashley Smoot
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